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Letting Go of Perfectionism

flower essence for perfectionism

Last week I was delivering an order of floral mists to a local boutique that carries my line. I had intended to bring them by a few days earlier but wasn’t able to. I walked in feeling a little bad that I wasn’t fulfilling expectations and not doing enough. During my short chat with the owner she thanked me for being so on top of things.

It turns out she has other vendors who are much less responsive and slow with orders. As I heard this, I was wondering why I was being so hard on myself. While I strive for excellence, perfection is not realistic. It occurred to me that for the most part, we are being graded on a curve. Shouldn’t that change the internal conversation a little?

Fear of Not Being Good Enough

Growing up, I was constantly in fear of failing at school. I generally got good grades, but was always certain that failure was right around the corner. The next chapter or subject was going to be the limit, I wouldn’t be able to understand the material, and I would fail the test. I’d be left behind, ashamed, a failure. Very early in life I developed the ability to spin the worst possible scenarios. It’s like a superpower.

Somehow none of this ever actually happened, but the fear was always there. The fear of being judged against a standard of perfection and coming up short was always at the back of my mind. I think a lot of us were subjected to motivation by fear in this way, because the system is certain you would never bother to put in an effort to learn if you weren’t scared of some form of academic punishment.

And there is a part of me that thinks if I allow myself to let go of being perfect I will just slide down the slippery slope of carelessness, incompetence, laziness, or one of the other deadly sins. Really? Is that really likely? Do I really care so little about my work, my family, my life? If I take a breath and think a little, it seems quite clear that doing my best is really good enough. Really good is a perfectly acceptable place on the curve.

Accepting myself as a perfectly imperfect human is part of my process, and probably part of yours too. Whenever I slip into self-judgement or fear of failure, I call on my flower allies to help me connect to a greater sense of self acceptance and self kindness. 

Flower Essences for Self Kindness

The Lady Banks’ Rose

This gloriously vigorous rose has the most beautiful little flowers, is wildly fragrant, and blooms early in Spring. As a flower essence, she helps you accept yourself just as you are, appreciating all your good qualities, and showing kindness with all your foibles. I use Lady Banks’ Rose flower essence in so many formulas for clients to provide nonjudgemental support and boost self-kindness.

Ussurian Pear

A star of the early Spring, this graceful tree provides a flower essence that helps you connect to the pure nature of your being. So many of us have had experiences of shaming that disconnect us from the perfection of our souls. We absorbed the messages of being bad, or wrong, or broken, and live in fear of being discovered as being *less than*. Ussurian Pear flower essence helps you put these experiences in perspective, as things that happened to us, but things that do not define who we are.

What if we started being kinder to ourselves?

What if we started treating ourselves the way we treat our friends and beloveds?

Perfection is not a prerequisite to being lovable. You really are good enough today.

Would you like help with this? I’ve helped lots of women feel better about themselves and let go of perfectionism. I’d love to hear from you so I can create a custom flower essence formula, just for you.

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The Vulnerability of Being Seen

rose flower essence for heart healing

How would you show up in the world if you weren’t constantly doubting yourself, holding yourself back, shutting yourself down?

What impact could you make if you weren’t worried what others would think?

Letting yourself be truly seen is an act of vulnerability.

So often, we betray our true self and put on the mask of social conformity. In order to fit in, we polish off our uniqueness and compress ourselves into the mold of what is expected.

We do this because we have been shamed for being ourselves. Shaming is often used as a tool to gain compliance or obedience and is used everywhere from grade school to the office. Fortunately, we are starting to learn how damaging this is, and the culture is starting to change.

But not soon enough, for we live with the effects of this legacy. Every day, we shut down our ideas for fear they will be judged unkindly. We worry what others will think, and our inner critic constantly tells us all the ways we fail to measure up.

This sucks a lot of the joy out of life, and making any progress in your life’s work takes so much energy. What would happen if you could actually heal this?

I love to share how wonderfully flower essences can work for this issue. Taking your essences a few times a day, over time, you will experience enormous relief and release. As a practitioner, I love seeing my clients shed the weight of feeling constantly judged and criticized.

I created the Innocent formula as a self care tool so you can be empowered to start your own journey of healing.

Each flower essence has unique talents to heal elements of this experience. My work as a practitioner is to select and match flowers to individual needs. I have drawn upon my years of experience working with clients, and, in partnership with the flowers, I have created a formula to help you develop a new relationship to vulnerability and release the toxic legacy of shame.

All the rose flower essences relate to wounds of the heart.

Experiences of shame shut down your natural heart radiance, closing you in on yourself and diminishing your light.
rose flower essence for heart healing
The Wilmott’s Rose flower essence is a soothing feminine presence that holds your heart in a loving embrace. Old wounds can be held in her gentle presence and restored to wholeness.
rose flower essence for self acceptance
Another rose essence, the Lady Banks’ Rose, helps when you have a hard time accepting your imperfections. Being human is a challenging job, and we often make mistakes or fail to live up to our own ideals. This essence can help you smile at yourself, let go of your need to be perfect, and accept that we all are works in progress.
flower essence for shame
I reach for the Ussurian Pear flower essence constantly in my work with clients. This radiant light energy helps you connect to your pure and Divine nature. So many times, our life experiences leave us feeling tainted and damaged. This essence helps you recognize that these were just experiences, and nothing can touch your true self.
flower essence for self acceptance

Two lilies help to ground the formula into the body.

The fabulously orange Leichtlin’s Lily helps you to release self-judgements about your body and appearance. We are all constantly bombarded by marketing messages selling us products to fix our “flaws”. What if we could see ourselves as uniquely beautiful, full of character, and simply perfect as we are?
restorative flower essence
The White Lily comes up again and again in formulas, and holds a crucial role in the Innocent formula. When we have been made to feel “less than”, we feel we have to constantly be giving and serving in order to be accepted. Part of the healing process is to start giving back to ourselves so we can feel grounded and solid in the knowing of who we are.
flower essence for clearing blocks
The flower essence of the Sikkim Crabapple (research essence not yet released) shares the clearing qualities of Bach’s Crabapple, with the specific talent to release blocks caused by thoughts and ideas that not yours, allowing your soul light to flow through your life and physical body.

Each essence in the formula was carefully selected to harmonize together and create a healing field to support you in your self-care.

As you take and work with Innocent formula, you will find yourself feeling stronger and less reactive to the judgements of others, less worried about feeling embarrassed, and more loving to yourself. You will begin to see your vulnerability as a strength, a positive force for true heartful connection with others.

The world needs all of us to show up to be seen and heard, and the flowers are here to help.

If you are wanting more help, why don’t you get in touch? I’d love to hear from you, and would be happy to schedule a private session to create a unique formula for you.